Toddlers between theages of 2 and 3 years old need approximately 11 hours of nighttime sleep andone hour of daytime sleep. Naps beginto disappear after the third birthday. Accordingto Dr. Marc Weissbluth, M.D. in his bookHealthy Sleep Patterns, Happy Child, when children and adults aren’t getting the sleep they need, the effect of lost sleep accumulates overtime. Consequences of cumulative sleepiness include headaches, gastrointestinal issues, forgetfulness, reduced concentration, fatigue and emotional ups and downs. In addition, stress, more pronounced mood swings and uncharacteristic personalitychanges.
Of course, all parents understand that. Most parents donot keep their children up just for fun or wake them up early for the heck ofit. The lack of sleep is due to common sleep problems. Toddlers that don’t fall asleep, stay asleep, wake up often, or wake up early.
Our story: For us and our 2.5 year old daughter, our issue is falling asleep. I call it the Bedtime (or Naptime) Battles. She alternates between seeming tired and wired. She rubs her eyes, yawns, and seems exhausted. Then at the flip of the dime, she seems wide awake, even hyper – talking a mile a minute, talking toinvisible elephants, and painting imaginary pictures on the wall. We put her to bed at 7.00 or 7.30, and she’s out of bed 6-8 times with various requests, needs, and is defiant about returning to her bed. Lately, we are lucky if we get her down by 9.00 pm. We’ve seen 10.30 and 11 pm with her.
Here’s what the experts say:
1) Have a discussion during the day about the importance of sleep. Toddlers are very curious and are like sponges with information. “Sleep is so important! You need lots of sleep so you can grow big and have lots of energy to play during the day!”
2) Establish a consistent bedtime routine such as dinner, bedtime, bath time, potty & teeth brushing, then books. Usea digital clock and say – “Oh look, it’s seven o’clock! [say the numbers seven,zero, zero]. It’s time for bed.” Then lights out. This should be at a consistent time (between6.30 – 8:00 pm) every night.
3) Anticipate all the requests early. Give her a little bit of water, a small snack, make sure she goes to the bathroom, pull-up is dry, you’ve kissed the dogs goodnight, and you’ve anticipated all the stall tactics. Your toddler is going to test the limits ofnew-found independence. To feel empowered, let your child make choices when possible. Which PJ’s she wants to wear, which tooth brush to use, etc.
4) Create sleep rules. Make this an elaborate poster with colors and stickers, even have her help create it, and put on the wall in thebedroom. Recite them and make them funfor your child. At bedtime we….
· Stay in bed
· Close our eyes
· Stay very quiet
· Go to sleep
When they violate the sleep rule, say: “Molly, rememberthe sleep rules.” Rewards and privileges are very important to this plan. Rewardyour child with a treat – a sticker, a wholesome snack that’s special, an extrabook in the morning before school – if they follow the sleep rules. Choose passive activities like watching TV, playing with the computer, or playing withdolls or trucks to be a privilege that can be revoked if they don’t follow the sleep rules. So after you recite the sleep rules, you say: “Molly, remember to follow the sleep rules and when you wake up you can have the privilege (or treat) of watching TV.” If she follows, say: “Thank-you forfollowing the sleep rules. Now here’s your treat.”
5) Use the Silent Return to Sleep Strategy, which means no talking when they get out of bed. When they get out of bed, say – “It’s time forbed.” Put her back in bed, and immediately walk out. Do not make eye contact, don’t engage in conversation. Make sure you are boring but respectful and positive.
6) Be calm and firm. The angrier youget, the more of a reaction you are giving her, and you are reinforcing thebehavior.
Wish us luck!
Sources:
- · Weissbuth, Marc, MD. HealthySleep Habits, Happy Child. BallatineBooks: 2003.
- · Online sources: http://www.ahaparenting.com/ages-stages/toddlers/helping-your-toddler-learn-to-put-himself-to-sleep
- · http://www.ivillage.com/bedtime-rituals-8-ways-end-bed-battles/6-n-146443#ixzz1ndQF1jJv
- · http://www.ivillage.com/bedtime-rituals-8-ways-end-bed-battles/6-n-146443#ixzz1ndQAVkEP
